Be a Potty Mouth: A Colon Cancer Awareness Project

Sometimes you run smack into an idea so ingenious and unique that it is deserving of national attention. And in case you think we’re talking about training toddlers, it also means: Potty (adjective): ape, barmy, batty, bedlamite, berserk, bonkers, buggy, cuckoo, cracked, daft, deranged, dingy, dippy, erratic, flaky, flipped out, freaked out, fruity, harebrained, haywire, loony, mental, moonstruck, nutty, screw loose, screwball, touched, unbalanced, unglued, unhinged, unzipped, whacko, zealous.¹

You get the picture. After smacking into this one, today we crown a new queen of crazy — and this from the author of the colon joke anthology featuring a vertical smile.

Last fall, our newspaper had an article about a kooky effort to raise money for the local American Cancer Society (ACS) Relay for Life to support cancer research. One of the local teams made a vow to “Flush Out Cancer.” They decorated seven discarded but sanitized toilets with paint, ribbon and sequins, and then went about their dirty business. Yep, they stealthily delivered the toilets in the dead of night to the yards of seven prominent personalities in our community.

Selected pillars of the community awoke to discover a flashy toilet prominently displayed in their front yard. When they cautiously raised the lid, they found a laminated explanation. Affixed to the bottom of the lid was the team’s manifesto to “flush out cancer.” The team provided a number to call to have the toilet removed immediately at no charge, but they also offered to deliver it to the front yard of a deserving friend or colleague if a $25 donation to the Relay for Life was left in a Ziploc bag within the toilet. If the proud owner of the toilet chose to donate $100 to the cause, toilet insurance could be purchased to ensure that the toilet would never again be returned to their yard. A gift card was included in the packet to let the lucky upcoming recipient know just who had thought so much of them as to gift them with a toilet.

Toilets traipsed through town. The city was abuzz — who would get one next? Having a toilet appear meant that you either were someone or knew someone who was someone. Toilets were a symbol of prestige, and folks were loathe to have them move on.

I had the opportunity to speak with one of the volunteers who helped to pull off this insane plot, and she was flushed with success. Not only had a bunch of cash been raised for a great cause, but the story of the traveling toilets and Relay for Life had made several local and regional newspapers.

Wow.

Imagine if your community was also infiltrated by a flotilla of toilets. What a way to draw attention to the dual causes of colon cancer awareness and the public’s paucity of colonoscopy screening.

Now, most diseases get recognition for a day or a week; the really savvy ones get a month. We scored two separate awareness months; as somehow both December and March were selected for Colon Cancer — I think that we got one for each orifice. It behooves us to take full advantage by using the two months and the intervening winter to poke fun at colon cancer and while away a bleak cold winter.

Now, I’m not ‘privy’ to the inner workings of your endosuite, but maybe you and your ‘head’ can adapt the potty project to your unique circumstances. Most don’t really want to schlep around heavy toilets. On brainstorming with my unit, we came up with alternate spins and suggestions:

• Have different GI practices each sponsor a toilet
• Have a competition amongst the different endosuites for toilet beauty, humor, sheer weirdness, or money raised
• Feature the toilets as guests of honor at your regional SGNA meeting
• Have photos of your toilet and others from your area in the endo waiting room, and encourage patients and their families to vote for their favorites, charging a small donation for the opportunity to vote.
• Have the toilet itself displayed in the waiting room or the hospital atrium, and invite folks to pitch in their loose change
• Glue literature racks on the toilet, and stock it with colon cancer awareness info, like free pamphlets from various sources including the Stop Colon/Rectal Cancer Foundation (www.coloncancerprevention.com, 312-782-4828)
• Get permission to display the toilet in a shopping mall
• Enter the toilet (now on wheels) in the Christmas or April Fool’s Day Parade (imagine a corps of toilets on wheels driving in formation down a city street — just like the Shriners!) It can even participate in walkathons, although most would be reluctant to tow a toilet for a half or full marathon.

The advantages of the “Flush Out Colon Cancer project? Its very wackiness lets off steam, it encourages your expressive/artistic side, catches the attention and educates about colon cancer screening, and could be a great group project to bond your suite.

If your unit chooses to participate, email a photo of your washroom wonder. If we have sufficient participants, I’ll award the T3 Awards. Imagine your flush of pride on presentation of prestigious “Top Ten Toilet” award at the SGNA Nationals in spring 2005.

Be a potty mouth. Talk up this funky idea and join the bathroom brigade to flush out colon cancer.

Don’t be a party pooper.

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